The Office of the Unofficial Mayor of Napa

Jason · Commodore · Connoisseur · Aviator · Self-Appointed

A Message From the Mayor.txt_□×

Welcome to Napa. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vineyard at all times.

Your call is important to us. The Mayor is currently on another line, a boat, or a wine club pickup. Please remain on hold.

About the Mayor_□×

Jason began his public service career in 1996, answering MSN dial-up support calls and talking strangers through modem handshakes. Through years of resetting TCP/IP stacks, he learned the patience, diplomacy, and ability to say "is it plugged into the phone jack?" that would later define his administration.

Today he serves as Commodore of the yacht club, holds membership in at least five wine clubs, and works as a highly successful Sales Engineer, a role that has taught him to demo anything, including himself as Mayor.

When the Mayor is not in session, he can be found piloting small aircraft over the valley, or in the garage with the First Lady tending to the official municipal fleet: a couple of Porsches.

Key to the City.jpg - Official Photo Archive_□×

**Official Inspection of the Municipal Wine Reserve**The Mayor and the First Lady confirm the chandelier is up to code. Barrel count: satisfactory.

**Infrastructure Review, Auto District**Conducted across the street from Napa Auto Service. Findings: beer flights are an acceptable backup system when the wine is down.

**Glassware Budget Hearing**The Mayor's reaction upon learning this is only Flight 1 of 5.

Proclamations.doc_□×

Proclamation 001: The yacht club bar is hereby designated City Hall Annex.
Proclamation 002: Any wine club shipment arriving at the Mayor's residence is a matter of municipal importance.
Proclamation 003: Every meeting shall now include a 15-minute "quick demo."
Proclamation 004: Anyone who says "have you tried turning it off and on again" must buy the next bottle.
Proclamation 005: The Mayor's motorcade shall consist of exactly two Porsches, driven by the Mayor and the First Lady.
Proclamation 006: Wine club pickups may now be conducted by air.

Meeting Scheduler 95 - The Mayor's Day_□×

6:00 AM	Preflight check (the plane)
6:30 AM	Preflight check (the Porsches)
7:00 AM	Coffee with the Harbor Committee
7:05 AM	Different coffee, different committee
9:00 AM	Wine club pickup #1
9:45 AM	Wine club pickup #2 (same parking lot)
11:00 AM	"Quick" demo (runs until 2:00)
2:15 PM	Ribbon cutting for a parking space
3:00 PM	Flies to a lunch 20 minutes away by car
4:00 PM	Yacht club board meeting
4:01 PM	Commodore reminds everyone he is Commodore
6:00 PM	Wine club pickups #3, #4, and #5
8:00 PM	Calls Doug to talk about 1996

City Systems Status_□×

Mayor	Operational
Wine Club Memberships	5 active, 1 pending
Yacht Club	Commodore at the helm, proceed with caution
Municipal Fleet (Porsches)	2 operational, both freshly detailed
Airspace	Mayor cleared for takeoff
Dial-Up Connection	Deprecated, still mourned
Friendship with Doug	30 years of uptime, zero patches applied

Approval Rating_□×

0% approval. Poll conducted at the yacht club bar. Margin of error: one glass.

Contact the Mayor's Office_□×

Submit a ticket and it will be handled in the order it was received, after the boat is put away and the Pinot is opened.

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